1st Tee

“NEVER BET WITH ANYONE YOU MEET ON THE FIRST TEE WHO HAS A DEEP SUNTAN, A 1-IRON IN HIS BAG, AND SQUINTY EYES!”….. DAVE MARR

More Pearls of wisdom:

“If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”….. LEE TRAVINO

“It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”….. MARK TWAIN

“He who has fastest golf cart never had a bad lie.”…..  MICKEY MANTLE (who loved riding golf carts)

“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.”…..  ARNOLD PALMER

“If you drink don’t drive, don’t even putt!”….. DEAN MARTIN

“Lay off for three weeks, and then quit!”….. SAM SNEAD (advising a pupil)

“Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air!” ….. JACK BENNY

“Just figure out a way to get it in the hole, no matter what it looks like.”….. LEE TREVINO

“Ninety percent of the putts that fall short don’t go in.”….. LEE TRAVINO

“The money is completely unimportant.”….. JONNY MILLER

“The best diet I know is pride in yourself. If I gain an inch on my waist, I have to send two hundred pairs of slacks out for alteration.”….. DOUG SANDERS

“If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is.”….. HORACE HUTCHINSON (British Sport Writer in 1886)

‘Every time I have the urge to play golf I lie down until the urge passes.”…..  SAM LEVENSON (humorist)

“Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for that purpose.” ….. WINSTON CHURCHILL

“A man’s true colors will surface quicker in a five-dollar Nassau than in any other form of peacetime diversion that I can name.”….. RANTLAND RICE

“Why are you using a new putter? Because the my old one didn’t float to well.”….. CRAIG STADLER

“I was so nervous (at the Masters) that I drank a fifth of rum before I played. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.”….. CHI CHI RODRIGUEZ

“If there is a golf course in HEAVEN, I hope it’s like Augusta National. I just don’t want an early tee time!” ….. GARY PLAYER

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