Image result for golf duffers pics

There is only one thing stopping me from joining the P G A !


Golf Instructor: Ok, now let’s just go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.

Duffer: But, that’s been my problem all along!

Image result for golf duffer quips and jokes pics

The difference in golf and GOP candidates running for POTUS  is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.

I was playing with a 85-year-old duffer recently on a course that I was unfamiliar with. On the third hole, I asked him what’s the best part of the fairway to be on, and he replied, “The Top”

A PGA Pro hooked up with a duffer that never played before:

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said, “Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green.”
The  duffer teed up and smacked the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green, where it stopped inches from the hole. “Now what?” the fellow asked the speechless pro.
After he was able to speak again the pro finally said, “Uh… you’re supposed to hit the ball into the cup.”
“Oh great! NOW you tell me,” said the beginner in a disgusted tone.

10 of golf’s greatest one liners:

  • Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture: Winston Churchill  Golf one-liners
  • It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course: Babe Ruth
  • Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course: Lee Trevino
  • These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow: Sam Snead
  • If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball: Jack Lemmon
  • If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron: Lee Trevino
  • The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music: Anon
  • I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose: Gerald Ford
  • After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye: Chi Chi Rodriguez
  • One of the advantages bowing has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball!

 Duffer: I heard scary growling in that grove of trees on the golf course.

Golfer: Relax! It’s just TIGER WOODS

” The traps on this golf course are very annoying,” said one duffer to another. A third, who was trying to putt, looked up and added, “They certainly are,. Now how about shutting yours!”